Mon oncle un fameux bricoleur
\nFaisait en amateur des bombes atomiques
\nSans avoir jamais rien appris
\nC\u2019\u00e9tait un vrai g\u00e9nie question travaux pratiques
\nIl s\u2019enfermait toute la journ\u00e9e
\nAu fond de son atelier pour faire ses exp\u00e9riences
\nEt le soir il rentrait chez nous
\nEt nous mettait en transes
\nEn nous racontant tout:
\n\u201cPour fabriquer une bombe \u201cA\u201d
\nMes enfants croyez-moi
\nC\u2019est vraiment de la tarte
\nLa question du d\u00e9tonateur
\nSe r\u00e9sout en un quart d\u2019heure
\nC\u2019est de celles qu\u2019on \u00e9carte
\nEn ce qui concerne la bombe \u201cH\u2019
\nC\u2019est pas beaucoup plus vache
\nMais une chose me tourmente
\nC\u2019est que celles de ma fabrication
\nN\u2019ont qu\u2019un rayon d\u2019action
\nDe trois m\u00e8tres cinquante
\nIl y a quelque chose qui cloche l\u00e0-dedans
\nJ\u2019y retourne imm\u00e9diatement !\u201d
\nIl a boss\u00e9 pendant des jours
\nTachant avec amour d\u2019am\u00e9liorer le mod\u00e8le
\nQuand il d\u00e9jeunait avec nous
\nIl d\u00e9vorait d\u2019un coup sa soupe aux vermicelles
\nOn voyait \u00e0 son air f\u00e9roce
\nQu\u2019il tombait sur un os
\nMais on n\u2019osait rien dire
\nEt puis un soir pendant le repas
\nVoil\u00e0 Tonton qui soupire et qui s\u2019\u00e9crie comme \u00e7a:
\n\u201c\u00c0 mesure que je deviens vieux
\nJe m\u2019en aper\u00e7ois mieux
\nJ\u2019ai le cerveau qui flanche.
\nSoyons s\u00e9rieux, disons le mot
\nC\u2019est m\u00eame plus un cerveau
\nC\u2019est comme de la sauce blanche
\nVoil\u00e0 des mois et des ann\u00e9es
\nQue j\u2019essaie d\u2019augmenter
\nLa port\u00e9e de ma bombe
\nEt je ne me suis pas rendu compte
\nQue la seule chose qui compte
\nC\u2019est l\u2019endroit o\u00f9 elle tombe
\nIl y a quelque chose qui cloche l\u00e0-dedans
\nJ\u2019y retourne imm\u00e9diatement
\nSachant proche le r\u00e9sultat
\nTous les grands chefs d\u2019\u00e9tat
\nLui ont rendu visite
\nIl les re\u00e7ut et s\u2019excusa de ce que sa cagna
\n\u00c9tait aussi petite
\nMais sit\u00f4t qu\u2019ils sont tous entr\u00e9s
\nIl les a enferm\u00e9s en disant \u201csoyez sages\u201d
\nEt quand la bombe a explos\u00e9
\nDe tous ces personnages il n\u2019est plus rien rest\u00e9
\nTonton devant ce r\u00e9sultat ne se d\u00e9gonfla pas
\nEt joua les andouilles
\nAu tribunal on l\u2019a tra\u00een\u00e9 et devant les jur\u00e9s
\nLe voil\u00e0 qui bafouille:
\n\u201cMessieurs c\u2019est un hasard affreux
\nMais je jure devant Dieu
\nQu\u2019en mon \u00e2me et conscience
\nEn d\u00e9truisant tous ces tordus
\nJe suis bien convaincu
\nD\u2019avoir servi la France\u201d
\nOn \u00e9tait dans l\u2019embarras
\nAlors on le condamna et puis on l\u2019amnistia
\nEt le pays reconnaissant l\u2019\u00e9lut imm\u00e9diatement
\nChef du gouvernement.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"parent":0,"template":"","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"default","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}}},"annee":[930],"poems-book":[],"poemes-theme":[237,148,387],"poete":[723],"class_list":["post-15876","poemes","type-poemes","status-publish","hentry","annee-930","poemes-theme-guerre","poemes-theme-liberte","poemes-theme-patrie","poete-boris-vian"],"yoast_head":"\n